Q&A with Flirt Expert and Author Rachel DeAltoPosted: November 6, 2012
The power of looking good starts with feeling good and confidence is key. When it comes to dating, career life and yes, even fashion, confidence is what will make you stand out among the rest. I had the pleasure of meeting the author of “Flirt Fearlessly”, Rachael DeAlto, who believes flirting is an art form and most importantly a form of communication, which is able to make you and others feel good. If you are looking for a good read and some great advice for your day to day life, check out DeAlto’s book!
1. Where did the inspiration from your book come from?
The inspiration for the book came from several places. I have always loved to flirt, and always loved to write so that was the foundation. But, the true inspiration came from working with singles and hearing the same frustrations and seeing the same issues. So many of us are in the same spot, and so many of us want the same things (yup, both men and women want love), but we block ourselves from finding it. If I can help people become more confident and go after what they want, with a little humor along the way, I have succeeded.
2. Why do you think people in relationships have the most difficulties with communication?
I think all people can have issues communicating, but it is especially hard in relationships because the stakes are higher. There is often a huge fear that “If I rock the boat, he/she will leave me”, so they end up staying quiet about problems and become miserable, until the issue explodes into something far greater than the initial problem. There are so many amazing techniques (far beyond flirting) that can help couples communicate better, avoid those blowout fights, and at the same time still be “heard”. Learning how to express yourself without blaming (“I feel” vs. “You did”) is a great first step.
3. Why must women have confidence in all aspects of their lives and not just in dating?
Confidence is really the keys to the city. Everything you do, every encounter you have, and every connection you make can become that much more powerful if you are confident. Women often lose along the way that fearless confidence that we have as children. Embracing that can really skyrocket your success. Everyone has the ability to grow their inner confidence, and I think it is the most important trait to have while dating, and beyond.
4. What can women learn from rejection? (In the dating world and the real world)
Rejection is good! Whether it is from a date or a job, rejection allows you to become better and improve any areas that are lacking. In dating, we need to understand that not everyone is going to like us. Attraction is such a chemistry, and sometimes its not there. Even when there is attraction, there might not be an emotional connection. Being rejected by someone saves you time, allows you to move on to someone that is interested, and helps you define what you want. It is all about perspective.
5. What is your one tip of advice for flirting and dating for college girls?
Beyond developing the strongest sense of self-confidence? Knowing your worth. You are awesome. You have sooooo much to offer. Do not sell yourself short for attention or status. Many women don’t recognize their worth into very late in their life, start now and you will be so far ahead of the game. Oh, and don’t get married until you are 30. Who you are at 20 is completely different than who you will be at 25, and who you are at 25 will be a stark contrast to who you will be at 30. That’s all 😉